Beauty In a Self-Imposed Cage

A soft breeze floats my way from the lazy flapping of wings. Multifaceted eyes peer out into blue that is the day. All that hinders this gentle creature from the freedom it deserves is thin, green screen. Wanting to take on the world but not knowing where to start, it sits in silent wonder. Gathering up courage, it tries again, beating its wings more fiercely this time. So focused on what is directly in front of its face, it fails to see the better way. Less than a foot to its left there is a wide open door. An entrance to the nature it calls home, a life it is searching for. I try to coax it to come with me, to give me trust to free it from its one-sided cage. It dodges my hand and flaps its wings in debate. Coming one step closer I feel its shifty gaze evaluating me. Will it proceed to freedom or choose to remain inside, dreaming of what could be?
I am often like this delicate creature. A beautiful life which God has envisioned, trapped in a cage I have placed before myself. Yearning to move ahead into the potential which could be mine, but wanting to take my own path. I point out to God the obstacles that lay ahead and why I can’t proceed to what He desires for my life. I fail to notice the door He has opened for me, just by my side and easily in reach. Sometimes I fight His help and direction, but if I would just crawl onto His finger and let Him cup me in His hands, I would be on my way to live His ideal life for me. To take that step can be scary, daring, and full of uncertainty. More than anything however, it is worth it. By stepping forward and saying “please, carry me” I can give myself the opportunity to find a life and a happiness I never knew I could have. I see it in the distance, imagine the possibilities, but doubt they could really be mine. God knows what I truly want, He knows what I truly need, and He knows me more than I could ever know myself. I hope to always choose to take a deep breath, send up a prayer of faith and step forward into hands which love me. Only He can free me from my self-imposed cage, and take me to freedom.

Unintended Gestures

The most remarkable thing happened to me today, something out of the ordinary and in its own significant way, a glorious occurrence. There was nothing particularly special about this moment in time, I was just sitting in my taxi in Campo Verde, watching passengers get in and out at their various destinations, waiting to be taken to home. My focus, lost in the mental lists of all I had to do for the afternoon, was suddenly punctured by the words “here is your change”. Realizing I was the only one left in the taxi, I was quite bewildered by this interruptive statement. I had already paid my four soles for passage to km. 38 and was ready to get a move on. Looking at my driver, I saw in his hand 50 centimos, making my cobra S/. 3,50, the cost for a trip between Pucallpa and Campo Verde. Now normally when I get in a taxi and ask them to take me to km. 38 there is never an issue. On occasion they will up the price or not want to take us the extra distance if it as night, but never before has this been a daytime scenario. I asked him kindly if he would take me to km. 38 for the normal four soles, but he replied with an immediate “no, it is too far and too expensive”. Gathering my bags I hopped out in search of a motocar. “Hmmm…while I am here I might as well visit my fruit man and stock up the house with vitamin C” I thought to myself. So off I trotted to complete more errands, still slightly irked by having to pay two soles instead of 50 centimos for the extra four kilometers. I didn’t realize until I reached home how much of an accomplishment getting kicked out of a taxi really was. Today, I was treated like a local. It didn’t matter that I was a girl, that my eyes were blue and my skin was “gringa”. He didn’t try to get more money out of me or take me along simply for more conversation. The simple truth was that he didn’t want to take me, so he didn’t. To him, I was just another passenger in his car. I was a person who lived in Peru who had a request he wasn’t fond of. Although I do prefer one continuous, cheap ride with people who are friendly and don’t mind the extra effort, these words really touched me today. I don’t know if he was meaning to pay me this compliment in his actions but I will take it as such none the less. I was kicked to the curb by someone who didn’t see me as a tourist, someone special, or even different. It is the most wonderful feeling to be recognized for who you are. And who I am is partially Peruvian. I feel at home here. I ride in taxis, go in search of motorcars when told to do so, and walk dirt roads on occasion. This is life here and I am enamored by it. Frustrated by it at times too, but you have to love the pace all its own. So what was remarkable about my day? I was treated as an equal, a normal person in a beautiful country where for one person outward appearance didn’t make a difference.

The Return

Helloooo everyone! As most of you know I am returning to Peru for the year. Unexpected yes, but God has new and exciting plans for all of us...plans that we would never have dreamed of on our own. I will try to keep you posted as life unfolds yet again in the jungle. Keep me in your prayers and you will be in mine as well. Lots of love and many hugs...until next time!

Change

July 2009- Another Summer in Peru
Back again! I love my Peru and am so blessed to have returned. Two years ago I was doing what many are right now, making preparations to live in another country for 9-12 months. Scared, excited and absolutely clueless as to what I was about to get myself into. Here I am now, on the other side of my Peru life, returning to befriend those as they arrive and help them as they hit the ground running. Life in Peru has changed and AMOR Projects has made many new developments. It is so hard to get used to having electricity, which includes a fridge and a washing machine. This is so odd to me and I will selfishly admit I also find it a bit sad. I know that development and progress are both good and necessary, but nothing can ever replace the feeling of candlelight dinners and worship, or washing your clothes by hand. It is however wonderful to not have to worry about leftovers spoiling or using 3 much needed hours sitting at the well. Person after person continues to arrive, and I love watching their reactions. Faces of awe and surprise, many questions and long glances. I am so excited for the day where those faces reflect a look of comfort and home. Still full of awe, but awe in a grateful and blessed manner. Where what they see is life, not questionable newness. When every street becomes familiar and people become friends and family. Language may always be somewhat of a barrier, but actions, as they learn to use them, will speak so much louder and will change them in ways they never new possible. Here, change is key. And even though at times I selfishly regret it, change of the land brings progress, and change of the heart brings joy and peace. As the soul, their inner being, is slowly given away and exchanged for a piece of this new life, this new world, developments will take place that they didn´t even know were necessary. Change can come with difficulty and change can come unnoticed, but the one thing I wish for each of these new volunteers is that they allow themselves to be changed. I hope they return home different...keeping of course their prior good, but embracing and viewing life as so much more. Pray for them as they journey, pray for them as they LIVE, and pray for them that they always keep what they are sure to discover here. Life as they never knew it before and as they will never know it again. Change can be good no matter where you are. Look for it, embrace it, grow with it, and live the life God has given you...no matter how many changes it may entail. Be they easy or tough they are bound to bring you to a place you would have never found yourself otherwise. A place of good and discovery...and maybe, like these volunteers, even a place called Peru.

midnight jabber about everything and nothing

I know many people think I am crazy, and to some extent they may be right. Why go back so soon? That’s a lot of money for just 3 weeks to hang out… To the normal person, going back to Peru 3 months later for just 3 weeks right before school starts is a little strange. I mean aren’t you glad to be home… in the “good ‘ole” U.S. of A. ? Aren’t you glad to have all your home commodities back? Yes, it’s nice to see family, or not to have to leave an hour before everything “just in case”. Yes, it’s nice to have food from home and a refrigerator to put things in. But this isn’t who I am. It is what I have, but not where my heart is. Unless you’ve been away from home to a place you love, you will never understand the homesickness you can feel for a place and a people you were afraid of for so long. I can’t believe that a year ago, I was running around stressing out, trying to buy everything I would need and fit a years supply into 2 small suitcases…wondering how I would fit into a new country or spend nine months away from my loved ones. Now I am wondering how to make life work without all that.
The first two weeks crept by, but then we got into a routine and the next thing I new it was time for Christmas vacation. You wouldn’t think that in five months 10 complete strangers could become your dearest family and friends… those you share everything with, live for, and can’t wait to see at the end of the day. I missed my “real” family terribly and wished my US friends were there many a time and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but the Lord blessed me greatly with my Peru home and Peru family. After vacation the group felt even closer… there were some additions and subtractions, but the feel was always the same… blessed and loved. Of course there were trying times…times when we got on each others nerves, or when I was ready to go home, but you are bound to have days like that.
In my time away I realized that I am NOT cut out to be a teacher and that medical work still excites me, but it wasn’t the eye opening experience I was looking for in terms of where I was going in life. Being in Peru didn’t tell me what career to pursue, what or who to be. It didn’t give me a spiritual high like I was expecting, or this new found reliance on my Creator and King. Peru didn’t hand me a road map to life… but it helped me to live mine and to follow someone Who knows where I should go. I can’t live my life for anyone else but Him and me, and that is one thing I learned there. Life’s decisions can’t be made by what other people think or feel, I have to be me, and in Peru I got to do just that, whoever “me” may be.
Although I can see myself becoming a doctor and raising a family here at home in the country hills of Tennessee, I can just as easily see myself working in the “Clinic de Esperanza” on Km. 38… or doing jungle clinics, and this scares me. It scares me not to know where my life is heading or what direction to take… where I’ll make my home or what my loved ones will think, but this isn’t up to me to decide. People may say I’ve lost it to love a life so simple…one without the hassles of electricity and a grocery store, and where exercise is a way of life and not just 20 minutes you might squeeze in five times a week… one where you get laughed at for slaughtering another language every time you open your mouth, or have to use a wooden booth to call home. Honestly, I can’t tell you why I love and miss it soooo much. Is it the culture, the land, my Km. 38 home and family, the people, the work, or is it something more? No where inside of me can I find the words that say “this” is why I need to go back…why I need to be in Peru. I just know that is where part of me belongs and will forever be. I did choose August for the fact that they desperately need translators and extra hands for a large group coming from LLU… not just to hang out, but that still doesn’t explain the longing inside of me. Although I would love to be able so say I just want to go back to help out, that wouldn’t be entirely truthful… I know that’s not the only reason. Maybe I just need to escape for a bit, it can’t be a longing to see people, most of them are in the states…unless it is the people of Peru in general, not just those from km. 38. This makes just as much sense to me as it does to many of you. I know this isn’t the hugest of deals, I’d actually be surprised if anyone reads this far, but I guess you aren’t really meant to, it’s just mindless jabber. Besides, it’s not another year...Albeit tempting, I’m smart enough to know that education is essential; it’s only 3 weeks of a random friend’s life that doesn’t affect you. It’s just that, I don’t know, maybe I need to be that bit of Peruvian I was for so long and learn how to bring her back with me… to not lose the change I’ve found and try to make my heart whole again. It may hurt worse or it may hurt less to leave again, but I guess I’ll find out. I love Peru and the life I had there, and although I am happy with my life in the United States and don’t want anyone to think of me as miserable or ungrateful (because I am neither of these), I will still miss it more than many will ever understand. Just a little bit of two worlds all wrapped up in one crazy and confused girl who talks too much at midnight…and that’s all there is to it.

Finally... december hike

“Okay Tara, one foot in front of the other… what have I gotten myself into?” I thought to myself. The first ten minutes weren’t so bad; actually I was enjoying our guideless adventure through the mountains of Peru to Macchu Pichu. Two hours later, still hiking straight up the mountain with at least another hour to go before our STEEP descent, and I was having second thoughts. If no map, no plans, no tent, and no guide weren’t adventurous enough, you can always add in the cable car ride “bridges” strung 100 feet above the Santa Teresa’s swirling rapids, trails covered in rock slides, and steep stone stairs with a thousand foot drop on one side and I am sure adventure might come to mind. But, there we were... four crazy S.M.’s on a wonderful vacation having, for the most part, the time of our lives. This three day adventure was only a short (although significant) part of our two week visa renewal trip.
Now, back to the part where I am huffing and puffing up an incredibly large mountain. Starting out was wonderful… the weather was great, the views astounding and the company most grand… then, we started going up. I mean REALLY up. Boy was I regretting not training! I never knew there was such a thing as steeper than steep. However, the view from the top was breathtaking and definitely worth the trouble, as was the feeling of physical exertion and the lovely backpack tan J. We continued our hike through parts of jungle, a very rocky beach, and a path cut through vines and bamboo with rock stepping stones over a swamp, until we reached the “bridge”. Now, if you would close your eyes and use your imagination for just a second… this bridge was a long cable reaching from one side of the roaring river to the other. Connected to this cable was a “cart” made of rebar and wooden planks. The cart was open on all sides with the exception of a rebar “safety rail” and it had just enough space to hold two medium sized people sitting cross-legged holding their backpacks. This was our bridge. The only means in which to cross the Santa Teresa river, a river that because of it’s huge boulders, whirlpools, and swift current, would most likely bring death to anyone brainless enough to try and raft it. Needless to say we all survived this exhilarating ride, even though being stuck in the middle waiting to be pulled (or pull yourself) to the other side is a bit worrisome, and then hiked another 45 minutes to the thermal springs.
After spending about 2 hours there we decided to finish our hike up yet another steep climb to Santa Teresa, a small but touristy mountain town. Although my mind and body were trying ever so hard to convince me to take the 20 minute bus ride with the other group instead of hiking, being as stubborn as we all are we decided to choose the 45 minute road hike half in the dark. Being thoroughly exhausted we thankfully found yet another good place to camp outside of town where we literally crashed. It was so gorgeous to wake up (freezing) at sunrise looking at the snow capped mountains and all the beauty around us. That day’s hike was a little different though, for there was no group to follow, just educated guesses along the “boulder beach” of the Santa Teresa. We alternated beach and road for about 4 hours before coming to a lunch stopping point. This hike wasn’t nearly as strenuous as the other although I felt at least equally as tired from the day before. Guess I wasn’t really cut out for back packing. After lunch was a 2 hour hike on railroad tracks. Talk about going crazy. Bar after bar after bar of wood on theses never ending tracks. Half the time covered by rocks or broken, this proved to be the most annoying and head hurting walking I have ever done. The scenery was amazing here as well, but not quite as worth the trouble. It really reminded me of parks in Tennessee with all the creeks, greenery and trees.
After reaching Aguas Calientes (the city at the base of Macchu Pichu) we finally got rid of our tiresome back packs and searched for a hostel in the pouring rain. To my directionally challenged self this little city seemed to be a maze of look-alike alley ways, none of which had a cheap and decent hostel. Eventually we prevailed and had the opportunity of hot showers for our VERY stinky and sopping selves after three days of rain and sweat with no baths or change of clothing. Such a relief!
Day three… up to Macchu Pichu. One hour up slippery and steep stone stairs with an elevation change of ??????? feet, yet again in the soaking rain. At least we weren’t sweating right? I can’t express the feeling of excitement, joy and contentment to know that we had finally made it to the top. Of course, after we reached the top we accidentally hiked up another ?????? ft. to a mountain actually behind the ruins thinking we were still on our way. An hour and a half later the fog cleared and down below us… way down below us laid the traditional Macchu Pichu souvenir shot. It was a wonderful secluded place for Sabbath worship, but more walking? Not so fun. None the less however, reaching the top and having my ticket stamped was such a wondrous feeling. I can only imagine how great of a feeling it will be when we complete the journey to heaven and have our names checked off in the book of life. This life’s road is much more difficult than my three day journey to Macchu Picchu could have ever been and the reward is sooooo much more than a silly mountain with some ancient ruins. No matter where this life is taking me and you, or the hardships it has in store, the end reward is worth it and we will know a joy indescribable. So, just keep on keeping on.

My life in this moment...

The thunder rolls overhead and I snuggle deeper under my blanket. Strong winds from the coming storm blow through my window and gently sway my hammock, making me shiver… winter time in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Peru…75º and I am freezing. Turning over I reach for paper and a pen sitting beside my eight foot perch. As I do, Monk grasps my finger in attempt to stop my movement with a pleading chirp to continue our nap. My mind however is to busy to sleep. Thoughts of my life here in Peru and those of the life I've put on hold for this short period of time, clamor and collide, battling for dominance. Letter after letter I've written this chilly Sabbath day, each adding to the pile of memories billowing in the deep of my soul. Memories of weekends at Southern, good times at Highland, and the warmth and comfort of home recall to my mind the loved ones so close to my heart but in a world out of reach. I left my heart in the United States, but small pieces of it have made the journey here, where forever they'll stay. I'm in love with two countries; my life has two names.
Finding a place to belong should not be this difficult. Although many who desire to belong come from feeling like they have no place to call their own, my desire is different… I feel like I belong in two worlds and haven't a clue which to choose. I know that when May comes I'll return to the U.S. where I'll finish my education and hopefully go on to med school. Going back will be great, for I miss my loved ones dearly, but who will I be when I return? How will this year have changed me, or will I let it at all? To come back unchanged is wrong and nearly impossible, but to return and not live the life I'd planned on living, the life I was comfortable with and had a mindset for, seems impossible as well. Both options before me are seemingly impossible, so where does that leave me? I suppose it brings me back to the question that has been brought to mind so many times the last few months… who am I? Am I the sometimes shy country girl with a southern twang from the sticks of Tennessee, or the "gringa" who walks around Pucallpa speaking Castillano to the locals with a somewhat decent accent? Is my name Senorita Tara, the English teacher of Peruvian children with rotten teeth and dirty clothes? Am I the timid but eager pre-med student who feels nauseous every time I give a shot in clinic, wanting to learn, but afraid to try? Do I live like my five soles per pitcher of limonada is a splurge? Or, am I the university student who buys a three dollar cup of coffe to stay awake while studying… even though this same amount more than pays for my daily food needs here? Is my mode of transportation my own two feet, and the occasional motokar, or is it my own little Ford Escape?
People often ask me if I miss the comforts of home, but what exactly are the comforts of home? There is nothing to give up, merely habits to change. Peru now holds for me the comforts of home. The light of the candles reflecting off the tin roof, Lola's welcome home bark after a night of teaching in Campo, the distinct clouds and blue sky nearly every afternoon on my walk into town, all give me a smiley sorta feeling… the feeling of this is where I belong. There is no lacking of warm water or electricity, but now more so a "wow, they have that there?" response when these so called "modern conveniences" are around.
I honestly don't know where I am going with this thought, for every time I try to complete it I am left with a blank mind and hanging words… thus making this blog I began 2 months ago still unfinished. What is the answer to these unending questions of my heart? Is there an answer at all, or should I just continue riding the waves of life, simply being content to know where I belong and what I should do for this moment? Maybe answers aren't necessary and willingness is all one needs. Right now, I just know that even though my life in this moment is full of confusion, it is also full of happiness and contentment. In this moment I am a deeply rooted country girl who decided to become Peruvian for awhile, and in doing so found fullness of heart and a love for two worlds.

Luz Divina... November Campaign

I walk around the curtained off corner towards pharmacy as Kristin comes running in the door. "She had the baby… I need vitamin K, 2 Kelly clamps, a scalpel…uh, 25 gauge needle, 1 ml syringe…" and the list continues as I call for Kaitlin to help us scour the "pharmacy" (really a small curtained off 4x6 section of a school building) for the needed supplies. Before we knew it Emily was dashing in yelling that she needed the kelly's and scapel stat. We hand them over and she flies out the door, Anita close on her heels. Half an hour ago a women approached us at the corner store explaining that her neighbor was in labor. She said that she hadn't been in labor long nor had her water broken, meaning there was still time… or so we thought. Jenni, Emily and Kristin went to the house to check on the mother's progress. Four contractions later, and out came a beautiful baby girl… way ahead of any of the needed preparations, leaving us to run around like crazy trying to find the supplies. This was the second of two births during this clinic… such an amazing experience. During the first one we had much more time and all the needed supplies. Doctor was there and we were merely bystanders watching the procedure as Jenni delivered the baby. However, the second one we were definitely more involved, and it is so wonderfully indescribeable to know you helped (if even in such a small way as prepping the shots and tying off the umbilical cord) bring a life into this world. Watching the pain fade from a mothers face as she gets her first look at her brand new baby girl is priceless. Now, this isn't a normal clinic experience… after all we have only had three clinic births this year (all girls now with the name of Jenni) but it is definitely something I will never forget, and has yet again reinforced my desire to become a doctor. There are days in clinic that make me wonder if the medical field is really for me. Every time I get handed a prescription with a shot on it, my heart still skips a beat and my hand shakes as I prep the medicine… I suppose calmness and self confidence is something that only comes with time and practice. But, those moments of nervousness are significantly outnumbered by the power of the toothless smile of an old man as he buckles his belt and thanks you for getting rid of his pain. The tears of joy and satisfaction streaming down a mothers face as she accepts the medicines for her sick child make the complaints of the randomly impatient person fade into the background. Bringing spiritual and physical healing is what our team is here for… not to shove the Bible down people's throats or claim our church is the best. We are here to show them Jesus, and the love of the great physician…. And this is what I hope to do for the rest of my life. Whether it be in the untouched jungles of ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Peru, or a huge hospital in the United States… or even if it has nothing to do with medical work, I know one thing for certain, and that's the fact that God has an amazing plan for me, and He has an amazing plan for you too. Let Him use you however He will and I promise you will not regret it. I hope you are loving life just like I am… I have found my place in this world for this moment and my wish is that you have found your place too. The place that puts a smile on your face and fills you with sighs of satisfaction… the moment where you know you could ask for nothing more to increase your happiness… the place that leaves you with one word to describe it, no matter the good times or bad, it's bliss.

Home

Home isn't a building, a country, or even a destination. Home is the smile that I can't stop each time I walk along the road to Campo Verde. Home is the hug from my daddy after being gone 4 months. Home is the longing in my heart when my mommie's voice says "I miss you sis" from the other end of the line so many miles away. It is the jokes in the kitchen about me looking haggard at 6am, and the plop monk makes when he lands on my shoulder. It isn't four walls and a big front door, or a thatched roof and dirt floor. It's craving MaMa's cooking and the excuses from friends telling you why you should eat at least one more piece of chocolate. Home doesn't change whether you can choose the temperature of your water, or if it's always cold, nor whether you have a shower head and curtain or buckets and half a tarp. It matters not if you use candle light only on special occasions, or everynight. Home is found in the smells that bring happy memories. It's the toothless grin saying "Buenos Dias Professora", and Sabbath hugs at Km. 38. It's the question of "Are you ok?" and the prayers from loved ones near and far. Home is more than a place could ever be... it's really a bouquet of feelings. Love and comfort, belonging and smiles, freedom and kindness, jokes and sunshine. It's the letter from a dear friend or a video from Matt. It's the promise of a lifetime in heaven and guidance here on earth. Home is the song in my heart, the bounce in my step, and the spirit with in me. Most of all though, home is the ability to be yourself, it's who I am, and what I love.

Meal Time

"¡A comer!" these words ring through the house and out to the jungle signifying mealtime again at km 38. This is always one of my favorite parts of the day. There are many wonderful things to love and look forward to about mealtime. I suppose the first and foremost enjoyment of a good meal is well…eating it. Food has the amazing ability to altogether change a grouchy mood to a smiling face. Secondly, the opportunity to use ones creativity for (hopefully) the enjoyment of all is another wondrous aspect of mealtimes. Thirdly, the necessity to eat gives a very plausible excuse to stop what he or she is doing and take a break and spend time with others. In Peru meals encompass so much more than even these three aspects, for they represent a journey all their own. So, let's go to the beginning of this adventure, that in the ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />United States we so simply call "food".
Quick trip to the grocery store? I think not. First of all, in a third world country, nothing is quick, and not being able to speak the local language slows down ones pace even more. When I first arrived in Peru, one of the most intimidating places was the market. People are bustling everywhere among the rows upon rows of fruits, veggies, raw meat, and randomly wandering animals. It is easy enough to point at an object if you don't happen to know its name, but this only shows your ignorance as a foreigner and makes you subject to high prices. So, our first lesson in Peru was to learn market phrases, food names. After mastery of Mercado Dos was achieved, mostly by trial and error, these trips have become less intimidating and actually enjoyable. It is so wonderful to go and converse with the friends we have made in our "little old bread lady" who showers us with kisses, or our "cute grandfatherly fruit man", who always throws in something extra for us to try. These experiences make up for the constantly varying time that it takes to actually get to and from market and the periodical frustrations of shopping.
Once arriving back to km 38 first priority is sorting out the smashed tomatoes and broken eggs as well as making everything ant and monkey proof. Now, it's time to cook. Well, that is if you have already soaked the beans and sorted the rice…every lunch must actually begin at breakfast if the meal is to be edible. Many of our foods here in Peru are similar to what we know from home, they are simply cooked in a different way. Much of the food we Americanize, bringing a new taste to our Peruvian friends. There are also many things they have taught us, such as how to NOT burn rice. Lunches usually consist of some form of beans, rice, salad, and bread. Suppers are usually small and almost always contain cancha (popcorn), while breakfast is based around some form of hot cereal prepared so kindly by the boys in the wee hours of the morning. The hardest part of cooking is the time it takes. I love spending time in the kitchen, chopping, mixing, and experimenting. Cooking is a great way to unwind and release the stress of a busy morning, but some days one just doesn't have time for the two hour lunch preparation. Many hands do however make for light work, and with all the willing hearts and smiling faces we have here at A.M.O.R Projects, no meal is ever a bad adventure.

Donate to Emancipate

A.M.O.R. Projects' "Donate to Emancipate" Fundraising Campaign The Current Situation Could somebody please free us? We are stuck in a hostel room, which we have affectionately named, "The Cage." Spending almost all sleeping and waking hours in the same 8'x12' room, you can see the appropriateness of the name. The problem is we can't leave, at least not now because we have responsibilities and tasks to complete, but it sure would be nice. You see, we are trapped by the necessity of electricity, but unable to leave because we lack electricity back home at km. 38 where the rest of our family lives. Emancipate us! Machete. Machete grass. Machete vines. I wish I had my lawn mower from home because I am feeling like one. Machete some more. I wish we had a tractor. Ouch! Got stung by a wasp. Again. Now out to the chacra to machete trees. Of course, once we cut them down we have to haul them…on our backs. We don't have a chain. Could they be any heavier? Oh yeah, we could use a cart, which we pull by hand. I wish we had a tractor. Machete some more. If we had a tractor, we could bushog the back acres, mow the lawn, haul logs for the carpentry shop, and pull the chicken poop in a cart, all in a day's work, not a month's. Emancipate me! Emancipate. What does it really mean? Freedom. Independence. Liberty from something or someone. Absence of obligation. Over the centuries, the word has been used by various religious, political, or minority groups to represent their desire for freedom from a particular cause. What if 'emancipate' was used to describe those who are poverty stricken, those with physical illness, or those who are struggling spiritually, but want to change and break free from the bondage of life they are currently under? The Plan A.M.O.R. Projects has a plan to emancipate the people in the Amazon Basin of Peru. Poverty, lack of education, health problems, and unemployment plague the jungle villagers. A.M.O.R. Projects' purpose is to found a surgical-medical clinic and trade school to serve the villagers' need for health care, health education and trade development. Through the clinic, health issues can be addressed and treated. With the trade school, useful skills such as carpentry, mechanics, bakery, dairy, and fish farming can be taught. The people can then use their newly learned skills to make a living, thus reducing poverty and unemployment. In order to continue moving towards building the clinic and trade school, we have two big needs: electricity and a tractor. Electricity is vital for the development of industries, on-site administration work, use of quality power tools, project site security, and much more. Right now our volunteer team enjoys a simple lifestyle of candlelit evenings, but electricity is very important for project advancement. Below is a breakdown of the costs for electricity: $10,450-poles, hardware, equipment, and wires $9,000-transformer & meter $1,700- equipment installation $3, 850- wiring buildings/other expenses $25,000USD This is a lot of money to raise, but God is good and anything can happen with His leading. We are setting a goal to raise this money for electricity by Christmas Day! With God's help and yours, we can reach this goal!! A tractor is essential for the development and maintenance of our 249 acres of land. Hauling logs, cultivating, upkeep of dirt roads/driveways, and pulling out stumps are just some of the many jobs around the property that would be made a lot easier if there was a tractor. Below is a breakdown of the costs for a tractor: $28,500-John Deere 5403 tractor $5,000-attachments (bushog, boxblade, cart, etc.) $1,500-transport from Lima to Pucallpa $35,000USD A huge project, yes, but definitely possible. Goal is to raise the money by New Year's Day 2008! You can help Each and every donation, small or large is very much appreciated. To help with electricity or tractor, there are two ways to donate (all donations are tax-deductible): 1. Send donation by mail (please make checks payable to A.M.O.R. Projects and mark electricity or tractor) to the following address: A.M.O.R. Projects P.O. Box 212 Loma Linda, CA 92354 2. Online donations possible mid-November at: touchofloveperu.org Thank you so much for your prayers and support. Attached to this email is a flyer for the electricity project and one for the tractor project. Please share this with a friend, family member, or someone else who has the same vision of helping others. We are so excited to see how God will lead in this fundraising campaign. Please continue to pray for God's guidance as we work towards emancipating the people of Peru! In His Service, The A.M.O.R. Projects Team (Dr. Richard Mathews, Jenni Goodwin, Laura Clark, Kaitlin Elloway, Kristin Goodin, Emily Moore, Brent Sherwin, David Skau, and Tara Weeks) P.S. if you are interested in having our fundraising flyers please leave me a comment or message and I will be more than happy to send them to you!

Ciudad Constitucion Campana

… 7 people in a 5 seated truck, an 8 hour four wheeling trip through the mud of a beginning rainy season, a weeks worth of luggage and medical supplies strapped to the back and you know you're in the mission field. I know for sure that I will forever think twice about complaining on a long or crammed trip in the car. In all reality it wasn't that bad. I mean yeah, my left leg was asleep the whole time, but when you are in great company and a slightly goofy mood (when not sleeping… which only happens for like an hour when you get the privilege of being on a paved roadJ ) no time can be a bad time… there is nothing liked cramped quarters to help you reach a new comfort level with those around you. Besides the smelliness of the monkeys diaper and the difficulty of eating crumbled granola with one hand it really was great.

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The basic medical part of this campaign was really similar to all the rest. Every day 140 (more or less… well forget the less part, but anyways) patients…. Mostly smiles and (in this particular city) stomach problems. Nothing to out of the ordinary as far as the basic work done in pharmacy. We are getting a lot more organized and now that we speak more Castillano and know the meds better things there usually flow pretty smoothly. There were a few interesting cases though…. The bad thing however is that the interesting cases are usually the sad ones. For instance, we did parasentisis on a lady who had so much fluid in her belly that she looked like 10 months pregnant… no joke, we got at least 8 liters of fluid out of her. She had to have been so miserable… and if she doesn't get something done, the problem will just keep returning. It's awful because people in her situation don't have the money or ability to travel to somewhere such as ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Pucallpa or Lima to have anything done. Another woman we saw was terminally ill with cancer…it started as cervical cancer and had eaten up her uterus, part of her bladder, ovaries, and possibly more. If death and despair has a smell, I smelt it on her. It is so saddening… she is trying to raise money to go to Lima so she can "get better" and all we could do for her is give her some vitamins and something for the pain. So many people without a way of hope or survival…I can't wait until we eventually have our own medical clinic at the home base so we can do some surgeries to help prevent some of these things from happening and offer help to so many who come to our mobile clinics looking for it. I know that this won't be a possibility in the time while I am here in Peru, but when it does happen, it will definitely be a cause for celebration.

This campaign really gave me a more in depth look at the lives of many Peruvians and opened my eyes to new viewpoints. Ciudad Constitucion is in an area whose main crop is coca plants. It is easy for one to say "this is so wrong…. Reform, reform, reform!", but when you look a little deeper you see so much more. In this land there is such a vicious cycle… it isn't about bad people growing drugs to use and get others hooked on, but about a people making a living the only way they know how. If you don't grow the crop that sells, you don't eat and don't live. It isn't about a choice of what to plant, but a matter of survival. To them it is the same as planting corn or potatoes… it's simply a crop that puts food on the table. Even if one felt it was wrong and wanted to no longer participate in this crop, getting out would be dangerous, for what you know can get you killed. The people who live in this area have to either deal with the fear of death because of the crop they grow, or the fear of death for not growing. There are commonly gun fights and shootings…. Not such nice people live there… especially if you get on anyone's bad side or the wrong side of town. There is much controversy over this crop and it is best to remain neutral… when I first heard about this way of livelihood my instinctive response was "this is wrong"… but once I learned more of the affects and impossibilities involved I don't know how to respond. I can't imagine a life surrounded by so much difficulty. There is so much more to say on this subject, but more isn't always better and offense can easily happen… from either side of the fence. I won't go into thoughts of those higher in this never ending chain or those who make unsuccessful and damaging attempts to stop it, but lets just say that there are so many unknown depths… of really any story or situation. This is definitely a lesson and reminder to me to not form opinions to quickly… one can never really know the immensity of a situation by simply glancing at the surface.

my life in a nutshell... a really big nutshell

Sunday: This is a day of planning, cleaning, sleeping in and playing catch-up. We usually sleep in until about 7 am and get up and make a special breakfast that we normally wouldn't have time for (such as cinnamon rolls, jungle muffins paired with fried potatoes or tortillas—Peruvian omelets). After that is laundry time, which takes seemingly forever… I really should wash clothes more than once a week, because it takes so long to catch up. WE carry our clothes down to the well, haul up water (good for the arm muscles… it's a deep well) after washing, attempting to rinse all the soap out, and hanging the clothes on the line to dry (I have issues with this part because I always seem to pick a day that it decides to rain, leaving my clothes damp for days and smelly to boot). After that task is done and the house is clean we do meal planning and go to market. Meal planning is difficult, for there is no such thing as quickly running to the store… you have to buy what you need for 2 or 3 days of meals and know exactly what and how much you we'll need before leaving the house… a task we are still far from perfecting. Whether in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Pucallpa or Campo Verde market is an interesting experience. I prefer Campo for its closeness and smaller size, but I prefer Mercado dos (there are like 5 in Pucallpa) for the selection and better quality. The things I like most about market are the relationships built. We have our favorite bread lady who always gives us free samples of some new bread, our weekly fruit people, and odds and ends stands at both markets. It's especially great in Campo now that we've begun teaching, for we see students and their parents all the time. Catching a moto into town is always fun… I love motos, but some days you can walk nearly all the way to campo before finding an empty one. Three km might not be far, but at noon in the Peruvian sun it gets hot and tiring. After returning home (with hopefully no broken eggs, smashed fruit or leaking sugar… all of which are very difficult feats to overcome) we break out our lesson planners and figure out what to teach next. Kaitlin and I try to stay two weeks ahead, but things change so constantly that it almost seems pointless. At 5 we make our way back to campo to teach classes… we are there Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights at 6 pm. Kaitlin has the beginners and I have the more advanced students… 2 classes in one classroom… difficult for the attention spans and noise factors, but doable. They are hard to stay ahead of, but they are great students. I've never seen students so eager to learn. It's odd, for half of them are older than me, all are wondering how I plan to teach them English when I don't speak Castillano, and each one is becoming a dear friend… constantly reaching out to me with kindness. A return trip home and the boys have supper waiting (they take such good care of us). We are greeted by the barks of our dogs and a birdlike chirp from the monk. I love having animals. After Campo classes we go to bed around ten (which is late for here) and try to get rested for the next day.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday are all pretty similar to one another… the only exceptions being Wednesday and Friday market trips, and Friday prepping the house for Sabbath. On these mornings we ride our bikes to Los Pinos where we teach our favorite class. Professor Jorge leads our students out in the Peruvian national anthem and pledge as the kids go through their marching routine. It's so cute to see them all lined up, especially the kindergarteners. These are the kids we go on field trips with and stay after school to play games with. The teachers here like to involve us in everything… I love how much you can tell they love their kids. We teach an hour of English and an hour of music with the primary students (ages 6-12), and then an hour of music to the kindergarteners. Each day has it's challenges, but for the most part these kids are well behaved, eager to learn, and very loving. The 3-5 year old kindergarteners have very short attention spans, but we are slowly earning their respect and love. They are getting great about participation, always requesting "Las Gallinitas" and "Dios es Amor" to be sung a gazillion times. I love spending time outside of class getting to know them… having little ones fight over who gets to hold your hand as you walk with them through the zoo, or laugh at you as you try to play their games and get stuck while trying to slide under a 6 year olds legs are definitely unforgettable and precious moments. After class we stop by Bria's house where we always receive some homemade gift, fresh fruit or refresco. She and her family are so giving. Bria spent a year in the U.S. when she was younger and we go to visit her and help her learn more English and get practice speaking. Next it's off to the house to make lunch. I love cooking! We turn on some music and get to chopping. Everything is homemade here…it takes a long time, but is (almost) always delicious. Cooking is a time for unwinding and bonding and is one of my favorite parts of the day. It is an excuse to take a break from the other stresses and things that are happening. I didn't want to come here with the sole description of cook, but I am glad that it is now "part of my job". That is along with being the group "mother". Old habits die hard I'm afraid and no matter what I do I can't seem to shake my mothering qualities…thankfully no one seems to mind me being caretaker yet so it isn't so bad. The afternoons are spent either planning and cleaning inside, or helping with what we can out in the jungle (more stories on that another time). Supper, a dishes assembly line and off to bed around nine fills the rest of the day.

Tuesday and Thursday…the bike trip to Yerbas Buenas…Yay! Three km back a dirt-filled bumpy road lies this little village. I am slowly overcoming my great disdain and slight fear of bicycles and they are no longer the bane of my existence after making this trip so many times. Hilly and rocky, it is very uncomfortable on our not so decent bikes. They've redone most of the road now so it isn't terrible anymore… unless of course it rains, and then we are talking an 1 ½ hours of pushing/carrying our bikes up and down hills through the mud… oh what fun and entertainment that is J The teachers at Yerbas Buenas are much more detached from their students than those at km 37 (Los Pinos). I often feel that they see us as a break from teaching more so than as a help to their students. We have a class of 25 5-10 year olds with short attention spans and discipline problems… although with time it has gotten much better. Also at Yerbas we have a group of 20 ranging from the ages of 10-18, all of which are fairly bright and finally starting to see us as teachers. It is so awesome to see the progress made from "I'm too cool for this" to "can we do that again PLEASE". I am glad that they are starting to open up. Of course we have our favorite students at each school, but that will have to be in another blog as well… this one will be long enough as it is. Once we are done at Yerbas Buenas we bike home and repeat yet again the process of cooking, cleaning, planning, and working and yet again head to Campo for night classes.

Sabbath… my favorite day! We all get to hang out and relax. Friday (and Saturday) evenings we get to have longer worships than we normally get to in our morning devotions… it is so great to have that time of worship with others… no matter what race… but getting to come together not only as a "family" but as a family in Christ and a family in the Adventist Church. It may not be vespers at Southern, but it is wonderful. We sing tons of Spanish hymns and have dual language worship… I can't wait until I know enough Castillano so that translations are no longer necessary. Church is often times frustrating, for the language barrier makes things hard…but it is good to be with people who are SO excited to sing and to worship God. It also offers good time for journaling, Bible reading, prayer, and simply spending time with God… which is what church should really be about, God time. Many times we do spur of the moment special music's, piano playing, and sermons… apparently being white automatically makes you capable and a volunteer. On the way out everyone showers you with hugs, kisses, and greetings of "Feliz Sabado"… truly showing Christian brotherly love. Often times our Sabbath afternoons are filled with choir practice and youth meetings, making having our Sabbaths to ourselves a rare occasion. It is at these times I have to try hard to remember that I am here to serve and here for the people, not myself. I miss my Sabbaths… the way they are at home, but I am here for a different cause and when I return hopefully I will be more willing and ready to spend more of my Sabbath helping others out at home too… After all Sabbath isn't only for spending time with God, loved ones and resting, but also for sharing Christ's love with others. Some Saturday nights we have youth games (which will take a whole blog in itself to recount and explain) and others we S.M.'s sit around and hang out… playing games and just chillaxin. I love our group here… we make such a great team. Although it is times like these Saturday nights that I most miss Southern, my friends and Matt, they also remind me of how lucky I am to be with the wonderful people here. We are like a family and fit together so well. The people here will obviously never be able to replace or keep me from missing my family at home, but it is a wonderful and irreplaceable feeling to feel so handpicked by God as a team for this year. I am sure we'll come across problems and have some squabbles or disagreements, and I am bound to really get on someone's nerves sooner or later… but to all who I love at home, know that I am in good hands… both in God's and those of my team, and am being well loved and taken care of. And that is the conclusion of my (normal… if there is such a thing) weekly happenings here in Peru. Stay tuned for more blogs on the other aforementioned topics plus Pucallpa excursions and our upcoming clinic J

Animals

n addition to our 7 sm's, 4 Peruvian workers, Jenni, Doctor Richard, and Domingo our team also has 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 monkey, 2 frogs, 13 sheep, a jungle full of wildlife, and soon to come puppies and 3 cows.

Lola and Cheva are our "guard dogs". They act awful fierce if htere is a stranger (or thunder) aothough around us they are nothing but playful and full of smiles. Lola (our mutt dog) likes to play tag with our sheep and cat, while Cheva, our rotweiler and soon to be mom, is a definite animal attacker. Right now she is tied up for eating a baby lamb. She also has managed to barge into the house and attack our monkey twice. Thankfully our monk has good luck... a few squeals and a lot of slobber and all is well.

Joey our cat is super unique. Never before have I seen a cat whose favorite place is on top of a girls head. He loves hair. At any given moment he'll leap onto your back, place his front paws on your head with his claws tangled in your hair and rest his head on top of your own. His other favorite past times are exploring outside, and playing games with the monkey.

Our monkey, Frankie (just because) ASUito(little wow and the initials for Andrews, Southern, and Union) Gordon (after gordon hospital our last clinic group) is a riot. He's super clingy and when he isn't climbing on the rafters, taunting the dogs or cat, or keeping our environment bug free he is sure to be found perched on a shoulder or curled up in a lap. He is soo people dependant. He loves to be curled up with one of us while holding your finger just like a baby. Although he is a bit smelly and can be a pain when he steals the food right from in front of your mouth, he's a wonderful team addition. Changing his diaper and bath time are always great adventures... he squeals like he did when he was Cheva food... youd think being clean was painful. He loves to play with pens while I am journaling... I don't know if you have ever tried it but writing with a monkey attatched to the end of your pen is quite an impossible task. He chirps like a bird and purrs like a cat, but no typical monkey sounds come from our monkabunk.

The two frogs are our toillette buddies... every time thei toilette is flushed they practically jump out. They are no longer surprising although the first time it scared me quite a bit. Now the worry is when one of us accidentally flushes one... that has been known to cause quite a rucus.

Lastly the 13 sheep (there were 14 but Cheva was appearantly hungry) They are a result of the money from cheva's first litter of puppies... who knows, maybe she was resentful...anyways each night before we got to bed someone has to count sheep and put them away... kind of ironic, but none the less true.

Down River Up North

Clinic number two…. Crazy times. We had a group of 20 come in from ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Calhoun, GA to work with us on a "mini-clinic" (which was totally not a mini clinic at all) for a week. This was a week of crazy adventures and good times. All of our plans for where we were supposed to go got thrown out the day before we were to leave, as is normal in Peru… there is no such thing as plans or supposed to in Peru…and our wonderful leader Jenni planned a new trip in about 18 hours. We left at one a.m. and rode on a launcha (a large passenger boat whose seats consisted of self supplied hammocks practically stacked on each other) for 24 hours to a small river village called Inahuawa. After toting all our stuff up the port (ports here are really steep muddy inclines) we got to bed at 3 am and awoke at five to organize medicines. During this week we went to four different places… all by dugout canoes and long jungle hikes carrying all of our meds. I truly never knew what hard work was before I came to Peru… nothing is easy here, but it is all rewarding and fun. On this trip I was labeled translator and got to do tons of pharmacy work, got my first IV (gotta love river water soaked bananas…yum) practice much patience, and buy a monkey. We got a squirrel monkey…. He is really small, super cuddly, slightly smelly, and over all a really cute little being with bug eyes, furry white ears, and an alien shaped head. Once clinic was done, we had a 9 hour peke peke ride (which was supposed to only be four hours) to Cantamana… a beautiful small river village upriver down south of Inahuawa. I think it is sort of a district capital or some such thing. From there we went to a natural hot springs which was beautiful and so relaxing. We slept outside in our hammocks under a palm branch shelter and listened to the rain. The trip back however wasn't so relaxing because the rain totally slaughtered the road and the motos couldn't reach us. At one point we tried to load four people on a motor bike, but a backpack strap got caught in it and ruined the bike… so we ended up walking 20 km barefoot in the mud to reach our destination. Gotta love Peru! After a day of getting the bike fixed and stuff organized we took another day trip via hammock boat back home to Pucallpa… I am sure there was more but it is late and my brain is frozen so I guess that is all for now…

First Clinic

Hola a todos.... here is an update about my life in the last week. Sorry that I can't email individually more but life in Peru really doesn't allow for that kind of time :) Last sunday we left for clinic at like five in the morning for a village 30 min. away. Our clinic was held in a 2 room house measuring about 15 ft by 25 ft.... here we had triage, pharmacy and at night it was home. Clinic is so interesting and very high stress. It really opened up opportunity to connect with the locals and see who people are in Peru. We saw some of the poorest of the poor and some very interesting cases. There were issues of sickness, rape, and people with surgeries gone awry because of lack of money(such as the man who now has his intestines hanging in a bag outside of his stomach). It is crazy... in US dollars to do his surgery it would only cost like $800. The price of life here is soooooo different. We worked there for six days seeing approximately 150 people a day, so thus we were crazy busy. People would start lining up at like one in the morning to be able to get one of the 70 tickets for the morning set which began at eight. Because of this sleeping was tough...the line was outside of our clinc building which is where we were sleeping. It is odd to walk out of your "house" in the morning, half out of it, to find a hundred people watching you and stare at you the full 2 blocks to shower and the bathroom. We were really spoiled this trip 'cause the "president" of this town (position lower than a mayor...title is sorta confusing) let us use his shower and bathroom which was at least mostly sanitary and usually enclosed. The living situation of so many here is soooo poor... needless to say we will all come back with strong legs from so many "squat pots" lol. Also, modesty is something that is piece by piece being thrown to the wind, for bathing and bathroom aren't always in the most secluded or modest of situations. I figure they are used to it so it shouldn't be a humungo deal for us, but it is still really hard. While in clinic we got to do a few "jungle surgeries" which are definitely an interesting excitement....nothing to serious, just tumor removals. The language barrier is definintely evident when trying to explain medicines, but we have all learned a few more words and our next clinic (in 3 days...yay) should be a bit better. It was hard for me to do shots, just cause I haven't done a whole lot and am still uncertain about parts of it. All of them are but shots, so you have to be careful of the area and the size of person cause most are really small. Ummm I think that is all for now. It is so hot right now and I really need to go run some errands for our next campaign.... so until next time hope this made enough sense to give you some idea of life in the medical aspect here. Much love, Tara

One More Adventure

I forgot to mention our eventful trip to massesai... a river town up the Ucayali from us. Two of the previous sm´s worked there for six weeks and a church was planted... so we went to do the church service, kids programs, and encourage the growing church.We rode in extremely crowded oversized roofed canoe for 5 hours to get there and then traveled half an hour by moto (half motorcycle half cart) on a dirt road. This we did a little complaining about, but the Lord has an odd sense of humor when teaching us lessons... it rained on sabbath, which was our return day and was too dangerous to travel. so, we had to sit on the corner of the plaza at 4 in the morning to wait for a moto which then got stuck in the mud... so we walked about 20 minutes to port in the dark and arrived to find a much smaller boat awaiting us. So, lesson learned... don´t complain about your circumstances, cause it could always get worse.

Earth quake

Heya, just want to let everyone know that we are ok. The earthquake was south of us so we only got a little shake. We are hoping to travel down to the site and do some relief work but don´t know yet if that will happen... lots of money and time. plus travel is hard with all of the destruction and the possibility of a strike. So keep peru in your prayers! Other than that we´ve just been learning dentistry injections, sorting meds and prepping for clinic. Oh and I almost forgot... we have also been fighting jungle fires in the night with sticks and shovels. Tons of adventures here... and I am sure there will be more when we return from clinic in a week, so I´ll try to keep ya posted. After clinic Caitlyn and I begin teaching english and music at about 3 different places 3 times a week each so I will be super busy but am very excited. Well gotta run. Until next time...

modern convienences... who needs em?

Hello from peru. sorry I dont have time to send a lot of comments but i figured i could blog to atleast let everyone know what I am up to. So far all is good, we haven´t started our actual jobs yet but when we do i will be teaching english in three places at least three times a week, teaching music, sabbath school and womens classes as well as working in a medical clinic every six weeks. recently they have installed running water but no electricity. i really kinda like that because it is so peaceful, promotes communication, and the stars here are the most amazing thing i have ever seen (well right up there with peruvian sunsets). All though sites from home are definitely more special, the beauty here is amazing (once you look past run down shacks and dirt roads) the jungle is great and the weather is hot but all is well. We have some leway with the food so creativity is helpful and the food here is cheap so we are eating good. Oh and just a side note... you can buy monkeys in the market for like 20 bucks although not entirely legally... anyways gotta run. Until next time, lots of love, thoughts and prayers, Tara

Starting July 31

Hello to all... this is a forwarning and disclaimer to any appearant nonexsistance of mine in the next 10 months. As most of you know (and an apology to those of you whom I've neglected to tell) I leave on July 31st for Peru. While there I will have limited access to phone, and hopefully weekly access to internet. So, if you call, email, or myspace me and are frustrated with my lack of response give it some time. I can't gurantee I'll recieve everything but what I do get I'll be sure to reply to. You can expect lots of pictures and blogs as well, so if ya wanna know what's up with me check your myspace:) I suppose it's time to admit that this sight can actually be useful for something and I'm glad I'll have the opportunity to keep in touch with you all. Well... that's it for now. So, until next time...